Crash into you, revisited




She had tangerine lips; her laughter was periwinkle
dust on midnight lashes.Then the train pulled out. She was melon sunshine blur. I felt her dust on my cheeks. I hummed my boy's dream.









33 words,
linked w/trifextra #78: color.
  Join us. Community vote Sunday.
*cartoon illustration- Corrine Bailey Rae via Google.
** title/italics- Dave Matthew's, "Crash into me."


linked with real toads. Friday Night Raw. Join us.

Comments

  1. I love this! Love me some Dave Matthew's too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love it...everything from image to words!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Turned on music for inspiration and this is what I came up with. Glad it works. Thanks.

      Delete
  3. Love your colorful descriptions here :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Replies
    1. Hum, form. Yes, that is a combination of the limits of the prompts. Love prose poetry and the other had a 33 word count limit. Glad to hear you like it. Thank you.

      Delete
  5. lovely melon sunshine blur!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Beautiful. Love that line break between periwinkle and dust.

    ReplyDelete
  7. nice use of color...periwinkle laughter...nice synesthesia (sp?)...then the melon...ha...cool...dont know that song...even tried to google it...dust on the cheeks is a cool touch as well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. added it for you, Brian. See above.

      Delete
    2. oh i know that song...i was looking for my boys dream as a song title...ha...
      like me some dave matthews band...

      Delete
  8. great images here and use of enjambment in periwinkle
    dust

    ReplyDelete
  9. The colours link to the emotional content of this poem.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love it; great imagery and rhyme. my favourite bit is the "periwinkle dust"

    ReplyDelete
  11. I was trying to go through the entries in an orderly fashion, but I just couldn't wait any more. I had to read yours! And, as always, you leave me smiling with pleasure at the sensory magic you unleash when you string words together. "She was melon sunshine blur"--!!!! Oh, yes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Feeling is mutual, K. I was anxiously waiting for you to post. Thank you.

      Delete
  12. Color me in love with this poem ..........

    ReplyDelete
  13. 'periwinkle/dust on midnight lashes...' I really like that, and all the deft use of color in this very short burst of mood and sensation. Dave Mathews is such a ubiquitous guy--so talented, especially as a songwriter, yet also one of those who is so under the hood of fame.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, Hedge. And take credit. What you weave has inspired me.

      Delete
  14. I never thought of laughter as any color, but periwinkle dust seems to fit it perfectly. Well done.

    Thank you for linking up! Please remember to return for the voting!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. Definitely will be by for voting. I admit, I'm hooked.

      Delete
  15. Love the lush colors & imagery - tangerine, periwinkle, melon sunshine ~

    Happy weekend ~

    ReplyDelete
  16. Just absolutely wonderful! Period. End of Story.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Beautifully done LaTonya! Love your colour choices, love the whole feel of this piece.

    ReplyDelete
  18. A cornucopia of color. Very nice.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Beautiful word usage...I can visualize the scene!

    ReplyDelete
  20. After a seven hour car ride to get to the beach, I couldn't wait to look at the ocean, and then check in with my writing friends. I read this, and along with being near water for a couple days at least, I'm totally rejuvenated. This was lush and gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Water is good. Enjoy your time, friend. Thank you.

      Delete
  21. A veritable feast of colors. It fits the song beautifully, too!

    ReplyDelete
  22. The use of color was so vivid and just so right!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh, this is so lovely!! 'Periwinkle's dust on the cheeks' is amazing and truly original...:)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Beautifully done - so few words, but each one a pearl.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Love this line: Periwinkle dust on midnight lashes.... The whole thing is breathtaking.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Wow, simply dripping with vivid color. Gorgeous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Friends, thank you so much. I had fun writing this.

      Delete
  27. Daaammmnnn!!! this reminds me of one of those perfect weekends where I did everything I could imagine and some that I couldn't and she left me wanting eternity and nothing else...great work, that one was short and full...no doubt. Love it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, my. Really appreciate the high praise. Thank you.

      Delete
  28. I love the luscious colours you have used and how you have used them!

    ReplyDelete
  29. how lovely - so few words, such beautiful coloring... and a story that feels complete. well done!

    ReplyDelete
  30. An inspiration from a musical interlude! That's amazing! It brings the flow into play. Great write La Tonya!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
  31. beautiful colour imaginary ...love the colour of laughter.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Wow. This was written and flowed like a perfect song lyric that gets stuck in one's mind. I like the dust on midnight lashes and periwinkle laugh. Amazing!!

    ReplyDelete
  33. LaTonya this is so vivid and so beautiful wonderful =)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Oh what a feeling! The periwinkle laugh...the midnight lashes... The whole thing also sounds like it could be the start of something bigger.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Glad to know so many like it. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Fifty-three comments?! Good grief. A question rather than a comment, as I am genuinely curious [yes, I do still want to know how and why everything works]: why the line breaks where you have them? I know trifecta is prose pieces, although short poem pieces work as do prose poems.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Margo, the high volume is largely a combination of my responses and this was shared with two audiences.

      My intent was prose poem. The line break which many loved honestly was a function issue. I couldn't correct it with the 'read more' function.

      Thanks for asking.

      Delete

Post a Comment

This is an interactive site. Dialogue is the aim here. latonya.blackandgray(at)gmail (dot)com

Popular Posts