Friday, July 26, 2013

Crash into you, revisited




She had tangerine lips; her laughter was periwinkle
dust on midnight lashes.Then the train pulled out. She was melon sunshine blur. I felt her dust on my cheeks. I hummed my boy's dream.









33 words,
linked w/trifextra #78: color.
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*cartoon illustration- Corrine Bailey Rae via Google.
** title/italics- Dave Matthew's, "Crash into me."


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55 comments:

  1. I love this! Love me some Dave Matthew's too. :)

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  2. Love it...everything from image to words!

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    1. Turned on music for inspiration and this is what I came up with. Glad it works. Thanks.

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  3. Love your colorful descriptions here :)

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  4. I knew your entry would be luxurious and I wasn't disappointed! Gorgeous, LaTonya!

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  5. Nice short form...I like it!

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    1. Hum, form. Yes, that is a combination of the limits of the prompts. Love prose poetry and the other had a 33 word count limit. Glad to hear you like it. Thank you.

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  6. Beautiful. Love that line break between periwinkle and dust.

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  7. nice use of color...periwinkle laughter...nice synesthesia (sp?)...then the melon...ha...cool...dont know that song...even tried to google it...dust on the cheeks is a cool touch as well

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    1. added it for you, Brian. See above.

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    2. oh i know that song...i was looking for my boys dream as a song title...ha...
      like me some dave matthews band...

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  8. great images here and use of enjambment in periwinkle
    dust

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  9. The colours link to the emotional content of this poem.

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  10. I love it; great imagery and rhyme. my favourite bit is the "periwinkle dust"

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  11. Lovely and colorful imagery to show emotions ... I like it :)

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  12. I was trying to go through the entries in an orderly fashion, but I just couldn't wait any more. I had to read yours! And, as always, you leave me smiling with pleasure at the sensory magic you unleash when you string words together. "She was melon sunshine blur"--!!!! Oh, yes.

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    1. Feeling is mutual, K. I was anxiously waiting for you to post. Thank you.

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  13. Color me in love with this poem ..........

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    1. Thank you, Helen. Made me smile broadly.

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  14. 'periwinkle/dust on midnight lashes...' I really like that, and all the deft use of color in this very short burst of mood and sensation. Dave Mathews is such a ubiquitous guy--so talented, especially as a songwriter, yet also one of those who is so under the hood of fame.

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    1. I agree, Hedge. And take credit. What you weave has inspired me.

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  15. I never thought of laughter as any color, but periwinkle dust seems to fit it perfectly. Well done.

    Thank you for linking up! Please remember to return for the voting!

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    1. Thank you. Definitely will be by for voting. I admit, I'm hooked.

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  16. Love the lush colors & imagery - tangerine, periwinkle, melon sunshine ~

    Happy weekend ~

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  17. Just absolutely wonderful! Period. End of Story.

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  18. Beautifully done LaTonya! Love your colour choices, love the whole feel of this piece.

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  19. A cornucopia of color. Very nice.

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  20. Beautiful word usage...I can visualize the scene!

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  21. After a seven hour car ride to get to the beach, I couldn't wait to look at the ocean, and then check in with my writing friends. I read this, and along with being near water for a couple days at least, I'm totally rejuvenated. This was lush and gorgeous!

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    1. Water is good. Enjoy your time, friend. Thank you.

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  22. A veritable feast of colors. It fits the song beautifully, too!

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  23. The use of color was so vivid and just so right!

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  24. Oh, this is so lovely!! 'Periwinkle's dust on the cheeks' is amazing and truly original...:)

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  25. Beautifully done - so few words, but each one a pearl.

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  26. Love this line: Periwinkle dust on midnight lashes.... The whole thing is breathtaking.

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  27. Wow, simply dripping with vivid color. Gorgeous.

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    1. Friends, thank you so much. I had fun writing this.

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  28. Daaammmnnn!!! this reminds me of one of those perfect weekends where I did everything I could imagine and some that I couldn't and she left me wanting eternity and nothing else...great work, that one was short and full...no doubt. Love it.

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    1. Oh, my. Really appreciate the high praise. Thank you.

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  29. I love the luscious colours you have used and how you have used them!

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  30. how lovely - so few words, such beautiful coloring... and a story that feels complete. well done!

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  31. An inspiration from a musical interlude! That's amazing! It brings the flow into play. Great write La Tonya!

    Hank

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  32. beautiful colour imaginary ...love the colour of laughter.

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  33. Wow. This was written and flowed like a perfect song lyric that gets stuck in one's mind. I like the dust on midnight lashes and periwinkle laugh. Amazing!!

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  34. LaTonya this is so vivid and so beautiful wonderful =)

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  35. Oh what a feeling! The periwinkle laugh...the midnight lashes... The whole thing also sounds like it could be the start of something bigger.

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  36. Glad to know so many like it. Thank you.

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  37. Fifty-three comments?! Good grief. A question rather than a comment, as I am genuinely curious [yes, I do still want to know how and why everything works]: why the line breaks where you have them? I know trifecta is prose pieces, although short poem pieces work as do prose poems.

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    1. Hi Margo, the high volume is largely a combination of my responses and this was shared with two audiences.

      My intent was prose poem. The line break which many loved honestly was a function issue. I couldn't correct it with the 'read more' function.

      Thanks for asking.

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