Marked Part III: Fly Trap
Part II
Stepping from the shadows, she stood, a smart smirk on her face. I'd like to reach out and slap it off, but the glistening blade, straddled across her breast gave me pause. How had she just a moment ago been eneveloped in darkness and now she stood there, not much taller than the length of that blade, that ugly, meanacing, serrated edge blade with points like a beast's ragged teeth?
“You know you really should close your mouth. You might unintentionally entice a few flies.”
I stood there, mouth gaped, stunned and angry that this phantom was mocking me. I could feel rage rising in me like the bile you can't keep down after drinking sour milk. Nads! I want to reach out and punch her in the face.
She on the other hand seemed amused.
“Erronne, seriously, enough of the angst. You're here for a reason. Why don't we stop with the chest-heaving and sit, talk like civilized women?”
Hearing my name, knocked the air out of me like someone punched me in the chest. Despite the weight of my robe I felt unsheathed, flaccid, naked in front of this stranger. How? How did she know my birth name? In the Order we are renamed. No one saved, Matron Sitaa knew my name.
“Surprised? Yes, I know your name, Erronne, an old name, your father's name. Your mother insisted. And your mother always got her way. I knew your mother, and I know everything worth knowing from your birth to your destiny which is why you're here. Are you ready to learn who you really are, Errone?
I felt dizzy, reflexively I reached behind me and my hand steadied me against a massive rock. I sunk into it. More than anything I wanted to be agile and mighty, that's who I am, not this girl whose knees have betrayed her, a girl captive of a phantom who says she knows my mother, my father and my destiny.
Great scene setting. I love the humor of the comment about accidentally catching flies on the heels of the vivid description.
ReplyDeleteps. Is this part of a serial? Where's the rest?
ReplyDeleteHi Alice, Part II is linked above the italized text and part I is linked in Part II. You can also select marked in the labels and pull them all up.
ReplyDeleteGlad you like it. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteDeliciously good.:)
ReplyDeleteSecrets! How they make fools of us all. Somehow I feel that Nads(?) will be very useful in the future. Erronne will probably need all the help she can muster
ReplyDeleteIntriguing installment! I'm glad you're blogging again, and I'm looking forward to more.
ReplyDeleteThat picture is very cool. I'm quite a fan of anime, and I was picturing your tale in Anime style as I read it.
ReplyDeleteAn intriguing story. Makes me want to know more.
ReplyDeleteO! I am hooked already. Such an easy flow of suspense and you have a great touch with dialogue.
ReplyDeleteIntrigue continues...I like the way you are unveiling the story
ReplyDeleteReshma, thank you. I'm enjoying the process.
ReplyDeleteVery intriguing scene ~ I like how versatile you are as prose is my weakest form ~
ReplyDeleteHave a good weekend ~
Grace, prose is more natural as I am more reader both fiction and non. Poetry came later. I, in turn, admire your explorations with so many poetry forms.
ReplyDeleteHope you have a good weekend, too.
I can't seem to get anything to come up.
ReplyDelete"Despite the weight of my robe I felt unsheathed, flaccid, naked in front of this stranger" I loved that line wow you have conveyed the sense impotence very well, this really pulls you in LaTonya it is fabulous =)
ReplyDelete