Monday, May 20, 2013

Looking for community




I love writing, blogging and connecting. Black & Gray is my return to the blogosphere. This time though, there is yearning, an undeniable need to slow down, to breathe, to stop incessantly doing and simply be.


In my twenties, I was driven by one passion or another. I didn't plan and cultivate; I gave into whatever moved me at the moment. I simply rode the wave. Today, at almost fifty, I don't have the energy nor spontaneity, I had in my thirties. I no longer want to change the world in ways I dreamed in my forties. With every project, community and cause I took on, I was full-throttle. Always have been pretty intense. Some closest to me have told me I'm like a pit-bull. Once I get something in my jaw, there's no letting go. Before you take offense, the truth is it's an accurate description- or it was until now.

In my former blogging life, I loved being an online admin, publisher, editor and community leader, but I don't want any of those roles today. While I was humbled and grateful to all the writers who thanked me for supporting them and promoting their work, I can't do that today. For all the readers and community members who graciously took the time to say they appreciated my reviews and giveaways and gifts, I can't give like that today. And as deeply as I feel about women issues and world affairs, I can't lead any more campaigns. Three years ago, I lost someone I loved and that loss led to me walking away from a passionate, but consuming blogging life. Today, I want to balance my worlds.

Has there been a time in your life when you felt what had been working for you no longer was? Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your blogging life? If you can relate to a desire to slow down or had an experience that had you re-examing what consumed your days, can you share a little wisdom or experience? Don't want this to be a downer so please free to inject some levity.

Today, I want to be led and held and reminded it's okay to follow. Can you squeeze my hand just before I leap?

* image http://www.babaylan.dk/wp/index.php/about/

9 comments:

  1. I think I can relate. As I also near the big five oh, I want to simplify my life as much as possible. I wasn't always comfortable with this desire, but increasingly I feel it's ok to not be pushing out there anymore and just be content to follow behind in the grooves already made by others.

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  2. SP,

    Thanks for hearing and responding. Hope I wasn't too whiny.

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  3. While I'm still in my 30s, I sometimes feel the need to step back from my role as blogger, speaker, trainer, etc. So this year, I have built more time into my life for intentional learning and listening. Thank you for sharing some of your background here. Your evolution made me think that I may be an idealist my entire life, yet express my values in different ways as I grow and age.

    Rosetta
    happyblackwoman.com

    P.S. It would be easier to comment if your blog has an option where you can just enter your name and email. The OpenID option didn't work for me, so I had to use an old Blogger account to comment. You might get ore comments if you remove those restrictions and just let anyone comment.

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  4. Rosetta,

    Thanks for your thoughtful reply and letting me know the OpenID is cumbersome. Will change that.

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  5. I think it boils down to your reasons for blogging as it does take time and effort to reach out and maintain the connection ~ Good for you to see your priorities and take care of yourself first ~

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  6. La Tonya, it is important to take care of ourselves first, blogging should be secondary, while I love writing and reading others, there are times when life gets in the way. For example, I am now just getting round to read some of the kind people who commented on my poem at dVerse (including you). Love and light sent your way.

    Pamela

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  7. I can connect about slowing down and simplifying. Although, in my youth I was so busy parenting and teaching that I've had no time yet to go and do what most moves me. I'm only just beginning to blog and write after decades of NOT writing. It pleases me. I am finding my voice and filling my needs. I encourage you to find and fill your needs first. We'll be here.

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  8. "there is yearning, an undeniable need to slow down, to breathe, to stop incessantly doing and simply be"...I feel this from time to time.

    I've definitely felt overwhelmed by blogging, specifically with social media. I had to slow down with the instagramming, tweeting, status updates & linking everywhere. It was too much pressure to be everywhere at once. I didn't like it so, I cut it out. Talk about relief!
    Who knows, one day I might return to it all. I really enjoy blogging and it's a huge part of my life right now.

    I think you make changes where you see fit. Sounds like you're doing this already.

    Here's a squeeze! :)

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  9. P.S.
    Thank you for reading and commenting on my blog! I really appreciate that. :)

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I know what I think. I write to hear what you think. Let's talk about it.