Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Letter to the gray girl dreaming

It's Tuesday, good people. Confession Time. Taking the diary route this week. Letter to me, the older, wiser me I was expecting I would be at this juncture.

Dear LaTonya,

Gurl, what are you doing? This is not the vision I had for you. With gray around your edges and dreams of early retirement on the horizon, you're suppose to be looking at Airstream models not cribs. You and Mr. are suppose to be lightening the load so you can be old and cool, sitting in the shade on a patch of land, living in a double-wide or shotgun, you didn't have a preference. The game plan was to write most days, talk with your sweetie and put in a few hours a week at the local general store so you could buy a few things, mostly books and whatever other small luxuries a retiree fancies.

Instead you're putting in 60 hour weeks, extended your plans for working in a gray, ugly cubical for at least six more years and brushing up on your cooking not because you have a desire to cook, but so you can save a few more pennies that you're going to need to help your child raise a child.

LaTonya, I wanted more for you. Gurl, I won't tell you you've disappointed me. Just want to say I love you. You can do this. The Airstream is on delay not out of reach. You will abandon the cubical, and you and Mr. will live in the Louisiana sun and make each other laugh and hold hands again and feel the butterflies again. You'll get by, gurl. You always have. You'll be fine.



  1. ha. you were expecting to be at this point....maybe its just a bit further down the time stream...
    i dont know that i am anywhere near where i thought i would be....but i am where i need to be

  2. They say if you want to hear God laugh, tell Her your plans. Nonetheless, I like your plans! You'll get there.

  3. PS--I hope the child is working HER ass off, too, inwhatever way is appropriate. After all, it is her decisions and her actions that got you all to this point. She may be a child, but it's time to grow up.

  4. I keep telling my boys, respect girls, because there are significant consequences on every front if you don't. Not sure that it makes a big difference, but I keep at it, hoping it'll sink in.

  5. It's a lot but you'll be fine. Those babies change our lives...

  6. Very insightful! My kids are still young and they see places they want to live in, (if not here) things they want, (they're not getting) and so I tell them that's fine, it's good to have dreams and goals but remember to think about them carefully and if you still want them then work hard and you'll succeed. With my youngest who seems unable to tidy up, I always add make sure you get a really well paid job since you're going to have to pay someone to clean up after you at this rate...

  7. ... I like Brian's comment " I am where I need to be"... It's what parents do - love unconditionally. I am NOT one to offer advice, I do not know the situation but adoption is a beautiful choice. I know several couples who have the most wonderful sweet children - But, you know best. I'm proud of you.

  8. Happy Thanksgiving, LaT. Miss you being around.

  9. "Black and Gray" has been included in the Sites To See for this week. Be assured that I hope this helps to point many new visitors in your direction.


  10. Thank you, Jerry. Thanks to all my friends who continued to check in.

  11. hey you...
    happy new year....smiles....how are you?
    what have you been up to? hows hubs? the baby? your dau?
    yes i am nosy....smiles.

  12. Hello, friend. I wanted to stop by and thank you for being a part of my blog in 2013. You have been a blessing to me. For the coming year, I have a few wishes for you.

    May 2014 bring you much joy.
    May we all have peace in our homes,
    laughter by our firesides,
    time spent with family,
    and contentment in our hearts.
    Be well, my friend.
    We miss you here.

  13. LaTonya!!!!! I am SO glad to hear from you. Brightens up my day, my year (all one plus days of it).

    So, how ya been? (patiently waits, crocheting) (I don't actually crochet, but you know.) (don't ask how I've been, I don't want to have to lie.)

    Hope to see you a bit more often... ~ Michael


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