Monday, October 21, 2013

Birth, Death and Vacuuming: Life Goes On


It's been more than a week since we lost our kitty. Last week, we learned my daughter is having a girl. This week marks the third week since I returned to retail. Between both jobs, I'm working roughly 60 hours a week, working somewhere seven days a week.

I'm a 12-stepper, and if ever I've felt the urge to draw on the Serenity Prayer, it's now. I need the courage to change the things I can, acceptance for the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. Over the years, the simplicity, the cliche-ness of those lines that at times I recited on cue, take on renewed meaning.

Today, I had a day off. I spent a good portion of the morning purging, cleaning, organizing. Yep, I spent the morning trying to clean my life into some kind of order because all around me all I see is my world turned upside down. My weight is up, my peace has left the building, and my primary relationships are shifting, not fitting, feeling foreign to me.

And what does this kind of blog entry, after days of missing in action, sound like to you? Sounds like a woman teetering on the cliff to me, and I'm not sure she's going to fly and soar when she leaps.

Stay tuned.

7 comments:

  1. One day at a time. One hour. One minute. You are not alone.

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  2. LaTonya, I'm so sorry I've been absent... long story. Didn't even have time to log it on computer. Suffice it to day, like Shay, each minute can be counted as a triumph simply because you got through it.

    So your granddaughter is to come. I know this is a hard time for you, and I wish your daughter a smooth birthing (or as we say, "drop it like a tadpole"!!) and you some rest. You wanted work, but it's all the low-wage shit America has become famous for. I'm sorry things are so tough. Keep the faith and know you are in all my prayers, honey. Amy

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  3. LaTonya, here whenever you sound out, or off. ~ M

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  4. We do what we do, don't we. It's good to be back. Thanks Amy and M.

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  5. Just wanted you to know been missing your voice, LaTonya. ~ M

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  6. M, I miss you. I miss the community we are apart of. Poets and dreamers - that is the good life. Making rounds today.

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