Monday, September 16, 2013
I want to throw a tantrum but my kid beat me to it
Sunday morning, I'm enjoying my coffee, sitting at my pc ruminating about this week's blogs and life is good. This installment was going to be about having enough. This weekend I was suppose to work my part-time gig, but construction delays set our opening back- again. Instead of getting bent out of shape, I accepted the reality and kept it moving. Must have been feeling a bit too smug because Maude if my child didn't throw me for a loop- again.
Hadn't spoken to mommy-to-be all week so rather than fret and swear under my breath, I did like all good mommas do and called my child. And that's when my lovely zen aura took off wailing as if she'd seen a ghost.
My unraveling began when I asked my daughter if she was eating better. No. Did she pay her car insurance? No. Would she consider dropping a class while she could, because her classes and work schedule were stressing her out? No. Does she know where she's going to live now that her grandmother is packing up to move? No. I'll stop here.
As best I could (and I failed by the way), I told my daughter that having a child required her behaving like an adult and being responsible. It's not okay not to be eating regularly. Yes, you must pay your insurance. You find another place to live before you're on the streets (No, I didn't put my child out. She blew out here full of herself and is too proud to ask if she can come home. Invitation has been extended). You make amends when you're wrong. Yes, you have a right to your feelings, but you learn to suck it up and do what is necessary especially when you're a parent (to-be).
Like the teen she is, she shrugged. She looked deflated. I vented to DH and here we are: me wanting to throw myself on the floor while I yell, “I don't want to...” I can't. I have to suck it up and behave like the parent I am. I have a child who needs me to be the adult she can't be, and I have to be the adult who waits for her daughter to ask for help.
Showing a little love and hoping to get some back.
Join me at Elleroy's.