Sister Alice took off with Puff the dragon
Sister Alice sold her soul for a ride.
She figured just sex and a smile wouldn't fly
And that girl's need was desperate, she desperately needed to fly.
Alice had beautiful almond eyes. Abandoned soul
might get a girl gone, get baby girl, gone bye, bye.
Alice couldn't stay put couldn't plant her feet in firm ground.
She was weed growing wild, always itchin' for a ride.
Untamed wind dreamed out loud, she'd spit up stories
that make her weak; wild child needed to fly, bye, bye.
She'd sniff, sniff some pixie dust and take off wit Puff the dragon.
Sister Alice sold her soul for a ride.
Spun on her heels and blew me a kiss and sang:
Bye Bye baby, I'm off to the levy....
Baby wish you could see me Baby, bye, bye. I'm gonna fly.
Bye bye, baby dontcha you cry.
Tony asked use to work with accentual alliteration. Join us.
really a rather haunting take on this...what a tale...and hope the levy dont break but got a feeling it will...great refrain line and like the lines that tag right behind it each time as well...nicely done latonya
ReplyDeleteThis is a good write, sad and song-like. I'm not feeling the prompt, unfortunately. Maybe later... ~ M
ReplyDeleteVery lyrical, a good take on the prompt.
ReplyDeletethis flows like a song...love the images as well and how you paint her character..
ReplyDeleteSad, and yes a great song.
ReplyDeleteA great sad song and some really great lines here the singing qualities are just great.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line "She figured just sex and a smile wouldn't fly"
I read this and thought "it sounds like lyrics" and it seems like that is the consensus. It would be cool to hear you read it, and even cooler to hear what kind of music you would choose for it. It seems rock folksy to me and so sad. I am still hoping for a happy ending for Alice.
ReplyDeleteThis does sing in a crooning mournful way, and of course, uses lyrics as well. Very sad. k.
ReplyDeleteAlice has a sad story, and you've told it really well. You've given yourself a bit more freedom with the form than I did; some of the lines have the three alliterative beats and a fourth, non-alliterated one, some don't. Bjorn pulled my favourite line which si definitely Bang,Bang,Bang - Crash! in more ways than one!
ReplyDeleteSo real, this, LaTonya. There's a mournful metronome keeping time here. The alliteration, very good, striking. Interesting how you always add so much more than the prompt asks... the feel of this, the character of Alice, and the rabbit hole she chooses. Hell, I've known her. Hell, I've BEEN her... but that was eons ago... Amy
ReplyDeleteThanks Amy,
ReplyDeleteIt's time for me to move, to dig deeper. To do more with my work. That is the direction I want to move so thank you for saying I'm bringing something to the table. I knew Alice and our stories link in ways that matter, too.
oh, this is most excellent. the first stanza delivers a (very cool) blow... what a tale.
ReplyDelete~Miriam
I agree - a great song and gat lines!
ReplyDeleteSam and Miriam, thanks for commenting.
ReplyDelete