Hourglass
It's as if time is sand, a violent waterfall.
The rush of grains, the unmade glass
cuts deeply. My fingers are bruised
and heated raw.
The roar is deafening, the anger rises
wave upon wave upon wave. I flare
my arms but they make no sound.
I pound out muted shouts until the sand
runs out and I am soaked and bruised
bleeding unmade glass.
I felt the rush of time, as if it coursed through my own body, while reading this. You aligned your metaphor so closely with actual experience.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kerry. needed the release this morning.
ReplyDeletebrutal, visceral, pulsating. whew. I'm gonna have a 2nd cup of coffee and calm down from that! poweful, LaTonya.
ReplyDeletewhew...whole lotta energy in this one...time can be brutal...interesting to think of sand as unmade glass...then the bleeding of the sand yourself in the end...intriguing...
ReplyDeleteOh, I felt this one. I've had this happen--physically (got dragged under in a rip tide once when I was young) and figuratively--and it's raw.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your profile this was even more potent. Necessary and intense, just the way I enjoy my poetry :).
ReplyDeleteStrong opening verses until the end ~ Love it ~
ReplyDelete"I am soaked and bruised
ReplyDeletebleeding unmade glass"
This is so powerful, LaTonya! I can feel the rage.
A well done outburst of frustration. >KB
ReplyDeleteFilled with a depth of feeling. "Bleeding unmade glass" is perfection.
ReplyDeleteStaccato bursts keep attention intact La Tonya! Keep at it! Brilliant take,love it!
ReplyDeleteHank
bleeding unmade glass....time being sand...violent waterfall...tight images and the emotions just jump off the page...the defining of ourselves within the limits of time..the pain...the struggle sometimes....loved it
ReplyDeleteThank you Claudia and all. Reading more recently and connecting with poets accounts for what success I have with this. Community is helping me raise my own bar and achieve it. Again, thank you.
ReplyDeleteI like the strong images and timing here. And it made me sad. Nicely written.
ReplyDeleteI really love this.. trying to stop the inevitable flow of time.. a fruitless task, but still we try with dire consequences.
ReplyDeleteThere's pain here. Your images pack a wallop. Your first line literally made me gasp. Intense writing here. :-)
ReplyDeleteI love the part about unmade glass, LaTonya. Very strong poem.
ReplyDeletePamela
unmade glass is fabulous, LaTonya. You captured angst in your poem. It radiates emotion.
ReplyDeleteThanks, poets. You keep me inspired.
ReplyDelete