Saturday, July 6, 2013

Hourglass




It's as if time is sand, a violent waterfall.
The rush of grains, the unmade glass
cuts deeply. My fingers are bruised
and heated raw.

The roar is deafening, the anger rises
wave upon wave upon wave. I flare
my arms but they make no sound.
I pound out muted shouts until the sand
runs out and I am soaked and bruised
bleeding unmade glass.

19 comments:

  1. I felt the rush of time, as if it coursed through my own body, while reading this. You aligned your metaphor so closely with actual experience.

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  2. Thanks, Kerry. needed the release this morning.

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  3. brutal, visceral, pulsating. whew. I'm gonna have a 2nd cup of coffee and calm down from that! poweful, LaTonya.

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  4. whew...whole lotta energy in this one...time can be brutal...interesting to think of sand as unmade glass...then the bleeding of the sand yourself in the end...intriguing...

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  5. Oh, I felt this one. I've had this happen--physically (got dragged under in a rip tide once when I was young) and figuratively--and it's raw.

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  6. After reading your profile this was even more potent. Necessary and intense, just the way I enjoy my poetry :).

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  7. Strong opening verses until the end ~ Love it ~

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  8. "I am soaked and bruised
    bleeding unmade glass"

    This is so powerful, LaTonya! I can feel the rage.

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  9. A well done outburst of frustration. >KB

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  10. Filled with a depth of feeling. "Bleeding unmade glass" is perfection.

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  11. Staccato bursts keep attention intact La Tonya! Keep at it! Brilliant take,love it!

    Hank

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  12. bleeding unmade glass....time being sand...violent waterfall...tight images and the emotions just jump off the page...the defining of ourselves within the limits of time..the pain...the struggle sometimes....loved it

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  13. Thank you Claudia and all. Reading more recently and connecting with poets accounts for what success I have with this. Community is helping me raise my own bar and achieve it. Again, thank you.

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  14. I like the strong images and timing here. And it made me sad. Nicely written.

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  15. I really love this.. trying to stop the inevitable flow of time.. a fruitless task, but still we try with dire consequences.

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  16. There's pain here. Your images pack a wallop. Your first line literally made me gasp. Intense writing here. :-)

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  17. I love the part about unmade glass, LaTonya. Very strong poem.

    Pamela

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  18. unmade glass is fabulous, LaTonya. You captured angst in your poem. It radiates emotion.

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  19. Thanks, poets. You keep me inspired.

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I know what I think. I write to hear what you think. Let's talk about it.