Thursday, July 4, 2013

Compatible



He was a suit, clean-shaven,
Penn educated, member of the
brotherhood for life. He was squarely
upper-middle class & moving up
the social strata.

She was Bohemian mama,
brown sugar & bacon, community
college stock & proud of it.
She was headed towards a life of action
committees & town meetings.

They crossed paths at the university
coffeehouse where the intellectual & activist
coolly acknowledged each other’s value.

She was cute and he was single.
She warm like biscuits & he was
lean like hungry ambition.

Brief exchange and so they found
their common taste: coffee black,
uncomplicated so unlike the rest
of their lives. They were compatible.










Anna asked us to create mood or atmosphere. As I shared at the pub, I rely heavily on sound devices. Internal, easy rhythm. Please let me know if I got it right and how you might tweak or let me know if you have questions. Critiuqe welcome. Join us here.


Theme is appetite. Join us.

26 comments:

  1. You have the knack of telling a story, and letting the characters grow out of the detailed descriptions. I surely hope this one has a happy ending.

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  2. So far it's been quite happy. Honestly, Kerry, I write what I know. I know very little. I love food, love being in love. That's how this started.

    Thanks for taking time to hang out with me. I love your company.

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  3. I can see it, you put your reader right there. Welocome to Toads, by the way!

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  4. This was nice. Simple and sweet with a pragmatic message

    Gracias

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  5. you smooth the two lines of the "V" down to the single point: compatible.

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  6. smiles...i like your use of food...ha...brown sugar and bacon...

    love...She warm like biscuits & he was lean like hungry ambition.

    and coffee makes breakfast...
    and uncomplicated is all the better...

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  7. found your comment at dverse as well...caught in the filter for some reason....replied to you as well..

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  8. Lush! Love this especially:
    "She warm like biscuits & he was
    lean like hungry ambition. "

    Tasty!

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  9. Great romantic piece. Love the use of food...opposites do attract. :)

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  10. Oftentimes the external things don't matter as much as who the people are inside. I am sure these two were very happy.

    And an APPETITE for coffee doesn't hurt. I enjoyed your write, LaTonya.

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  11. Absolutely lovely .Warm, charming natural and I'm glad it's not fiction!

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  12. Like the weaving of their story and finding a common ground, black coffee it is ~ It works for me ~

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  13. My husband and I are from very different backgrounds, so I could really relate!

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  14. A nice smooth rhythm and a nice romantic story, the food also working as a metaphor creates a nice mood. And finding compatibility in the simplicity of black coffee. I enjoyed this

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  15. It is nice when we can come together in a nice blend!

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  16. coffee black...and she warm like biscuits...i think nothing can go wrong... loved it...

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  17. The brisk, apt characterization works very well to reinforce the sense of everything fitting into place. The compatibility and no nonsense tone of each, ambitious in their own way, helps to establish the common ground you build at the end (sorry for the unintended pun). The alliteration also ties things up neatly, engagingly. Punctuation functions like a staccato beat throughout the work. Wonderful use of your poetic tools to create atmosphere!

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  18. This is a great slice of life - lots of elements for a great story - two antiheros and an unlike match that sound like a blast.

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  19. Delightful!

    And yay for black coffee! In that respect, I am compatible too. :)

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  20. ...really nice La Tonya... i like the consistency in your manner of describing your main elements here... i like also that you alot independent verses to maximize & emphasize the character you set for each of your elements... having said that, i think i am quite uncomfortable with your 'cute' word choice... for me not a good choice to pair with the rest of your wonderful wordings... i dunno, maybe it was just me... i loved the 'like hungry ambition..' perfect pairing of words there... smiles...

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  21. Kelvin, It's(cute) part of the way I envision their language. The cute and single line is meant to be shallow. It suggests how casually we intially size each other up especially if we're simply thinking in the moment in a good time way.

    That said open to suggestion. Very much appreciate your thoughtful and honest observations.

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This is an interactive site. Dialogue is the aim here. latonya.blackandgray(at)gmail (dot)com

Thank you

Thank you
I know what I think. I write to hear what you think. Let's talk about it.