Tuesday, June 18, 2013
A few years back, a poet friend invited other friends to participate in a weekly meme: Confession Tuesday. The group was small and intimate. January didn't make it a formal, structured activity. I loved participating but I dropped off the cyber highway for a few years.
This year, I resumed my blogging life and I'm ready to tackle some of the midlife topics that spurred my desire for this space, so I'm resurrecting Confession Tuesday for me and any fellow bloggers and readers who want to join in. You'll find a link option at the end of each post. Add a link to your blog or share your confession in the comments. Topic is whatever you need or want to confess.
What I've learned in my online life is how easy it is to create a persona, to hide or act out because of the barrier of the screen. It's easy to get lost in the persona we create. Blurring the line between who we are and want we want others to think about us isn't always a conscious act. And yeah, sometimes fear of rejection or a desire to fit in means maintaining appearances.
In the early cyber days we all had avatars and fantasical names, and often identities we lived out in our virtual worlds. There were niche communities, discussion forums where long, extended conversations lingered and members existed in worlds separate from their 'real' lives. There is far less annoymity online now and these days folks can't seem to get enough of posing for the camara, blasting their mugshot everywhere all the time, and sharing the most minute, inane details of their lives. It's as if we're living in reality TV 24/7. Still, I have lingering memories when we were far more scripted about who we are and so Confession Tuesday is a space to get naked and keep it real.
On Tuesdays, it's step into booth or look in the mirror and tell it. For me, some days I'm a hot mess. Some days I show up the Zen enthusiast, throwback of my 90s new age pilgrim self and other days I'm my blue-collard daddy's girl from the D who will say what I think and not apologize for it. Sometimes mentor, community leader shows up and then it matters that I'm diplomatic and empathetic and other days, I need saving and I'm weepy girl, scared or scattered. . Don't bolt. You are at Black & Gray, you didn't reach another blog. Just call my persona Sybil or whatever name she is going by that day. Know that every version is me.
I hope you join me.