Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Twelve years and beyond

I was on FB about a month ago when L popped up in the chat box. We hadn't talked in forever. She said her girls were graduating, Mia from college and Dana from high school. She said she was having a party for them and she wanted me there. I didn't need much coaxing. She wanted me, missing in action, lousy friend to be there. I hadn't taken a trip or spent any time with friends in years- something I wrote about recently, saying I was going to change. I had said I was going to get off my ass and show up somewhere and see folks I love.

I told DH about the trip. I knew he wouldn't go and that was fine, because I din't want him to go. I didn't tell my daughter because I didn't want to feel guilty about her not knowing the girls and her feeling awkward. L invited me. I wanted some grown girl time.

I was really excited about the trip but the week I planned to go, old Kitty had to have surgery, almost sucked the bank dry. I didn't care. I had a few dollars and damnit I was going. The hell with being financially responsible (since when did that stop me when I really wanted something). I booked a car, took myself thrifting (needed my own shopping therapy after suffering eleventh hour prom dress shopping with DD who swore she didn't care about the prom), and cashed a check I had been holding onto. We could eat beans and rice for a month but I was going to Indianapolis. And damn how I patched up DH for abandoning him to attend to recovering kitty alone and DD would eventually get over not being invited (clearly not too heartbroken because when I told her I wasn't leaving as planned she said she had plans to spend the day with her boy).

Not planned but I picked up a friend of L's to ride with me. She needed a ride and I could use the gas money. I'm a morning gal. I wanted to leave early. Long story short, we left three hours after I wanted to but hell, her riding meant conversation and gas, so later had to work. No point in being pissy after the fact. D was hilarious and we got there in time to change and head for the affair.

I had a freakin' fantastic time! L's girls were amazing and beautiful. My girlfriend raised them right and her circle of friends were funny, smart and together. Seriously, my girl had a circle of power women who were down to earth and polished at the same time. These were the kind of women you knew had your back. These women didn't take shyte and knew how to check any fool who thought about cuttin' up. We got pretty loud at times and we laughed a lot.

And then there was the eye candy. I”m telling you I had a serious cougar moment. Entertainment was provided by young Vanilla and smooth Butter. Vanilla sang and played the keyboard. Now I hadn't paid him any attention until he broke out with Marvin Gaye. I swear the temparture rose a few degrees in the room. Made a girl holla with approval. I felt a kind of ease and silliness you only have with your girlfriends. Doesn't matter that you're loud and raunchy, you're with your girlfriends.

And it didn't end at the restaurant, afterwards, there was a small gathering at L's beautiful Arts and Craft home in the hood as L described it. Don't know how to describe what ultimately happened but what I experienced was a circle of women connecting to each as if we were old friends, no, not that way, we were new friends who connected in old ways. It felt good and that I night I went to bed giddy, happy.

When we said our good-byes, I told L I'd be back. I told her I couldn't thank her enough for having me. I wanted to thank her for loving me the absent friend. I didn't have to. I knew she knew. We must have hugged fifteen times before I actually walked towards the car.

I don't know about you, but I wont' go that long again without getting in some girlfriend time. My trip was amazing. The circle of women I met were amazing. I'm still floating.


  1. What a wonderful post. I am so happy it went well for all of you!

  2. Very sweeet that you could make it. Loved reading this.

  3. I just got a vicarious rush from your story. Whenever I spend time with that handful of friends that go way back (and it happens rarely) I feel like I'm totally wealthy. I'm high on the abundance of love/connection/humor and poignancy. I'm so glad you didn't let anything stop you from going. Note to self: do the same. :-)

  4. Jean, it was that, an incredible rush. Why I fail to enjoy that connection more is a real shortcoming I desperately want to correct. Yesterday I attended a women's breakfast, an event I almost skipped (bad habits are hard to break?). A co-worker said she really wanted me there so I made arrangements and I got there. Really enjoyed it. This is the year for connecting.

    Always happy when you come by.Thank you.


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