tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8171181621554169842024-03-12T20:57:12.798-04:00black and grayone woman's terrifying and glorious leap off the cliff of midlifeLaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.comBlogger204125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-84364737197014951912020-11-11T16:37:00.002-05:002020-11-11T17:11:08.289-05:00after a long hiatus: midlife rebirth<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu4v8cW5D9gXfp2jYP3lMSeMJRpyhV5hUZYMiHlKfDJzbSKo7cZXM-oyqBD0_bRIyFIQRRrHUgbpbbfF0YCHUAn8qSTB8ps0WemSESsAuevAN9SpP_jH-lLQ1BfeVHDKuET6J2g1N98QE/s2985/IMG_20201111_115127541%257E2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2985" data-original-width="1911" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu4v8cW5D9gXfp2jYP3lMSeMJRpyhV5hUZYMiHlKfDJzbSKo7cZXM-oyqBD0_bRIyFIQRRrHUgbpbbfF0YCHUAn8qSTB8ps0WemSESsAuevAN9SpP_jH-lLQ1BfeVHDKuET6J2g1N98QE/s320/IMG_20201111_115127541%257E2.jpg" /></a></div><br />So much happened since I last wrote, too much to recap. For now a deep breath. Exhale and begin again. This go round no posting schedules, themes, aiming for an audience. This space will function the way we of my generation and before us did with journals: self-expression, an exercise to be ourselves, to reflect and dream aloud without worry of judgment or criticism.<br /><br /> Oh, I don't mind sharing. I'm simply no longer worried what readers might think, if they will comment or embrace my nonsensical ramblings. Anyway, today is just about bringing back some memory to my fingers and brain. <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;">I started this blog pre-midlife. Today is no rehearsal. I'm 55. I have grandbabies. I've lost my dad and my mom really needs me now. I'm back in the city and pursuing work I value. Where do we go? Just where do we go from here?</div><p></p>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-9111418590182062382018-02-25T21:36:00.002-05:002018-02-25T21:37:19.613-05:00Free-fall<br />
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So what happens after you leap? You find your wings and discover you can fly. Okay so you're not a great flyer but you're learning. There has been pain, loss and new life. You're not sure what you're doing and you so thought that the middle years would make sense that you would know just what to and do what you wanted. Well, everything doesn't make sense. You certainly aren't doing what you thought you wanted. You did leap (even if it felt like you were pushed at the time) and you're still here.<br />
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Let's see where this goes.<br />
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*Artist- Lisa MitchokinLaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-15622695850824014272014-01-14T06:17:00.002-05:002014-01-14T06:42:30.545-05:00The pack rat minimalist<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Morning all, this weekend was harried. I worked all weekend and my children were in a constant state of chaos (not really, but they did seem to think they needed me constantly). This, friends, the chaos of my life is one reason the minimalist lifestyle appeals to me: the idea that simplicity leads to peace and serenity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Brian asked what about minimalism doesn't work for me. The one idea I reject is the idea that the minimalist life requires a spartan living space and equally severe perspective: some narrow, strict adherence to having as little as possible. There are extremists and critics of all movements who exaggerate an idea. Me, I'm a big picture kinda gal. I'm the woman who lived the majority of her life in the middle of chaos and crisis so for me, I'm looking for the anchors, which comes back to my previous post. I want less stuff so I have less stuff to think about, less stuff to take care of, less stuff to worry about.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm a pack rat who loves poetry and books. Sorry hardcore minimalists, digitizing my collection isn't an option and poets have a small audience so I'll buy my books and keep them. My memory escapes me. Those mementos, gifts and paraphernalia are lifeposts for me, not clutter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">More later.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Be well,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">L</span>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-14510624279488635882014-01-12T07:26:00.000-05:002014-01-12T07:26:20.775-05:00sunday musings<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Frigid cotton crowns</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Branches brush against the sky</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Winter wonder globes</span>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-25643079310851287742014-01-07T05:39:00.000-05:002014-01-07T08:25:11.583-05:00 Beast at the water cooler<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's Tuesday, people. Confession Time. You know I feel a bit embarrassed as I begin this blog because in writing this it's occurred to me there might be a pattern here I thought I had worn down, smoothed over. Seriously, I was convinced I was mellowing with age. I don't anger easily and certainly less often. I ignore bullshyte and all manner of stupidity that has nothing to do with me. Generally, I'm in a good mood until recently when a co-worker laughed at my expense one time too many.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Granted I can be naive, out-of-the-loop sometimes, (honestly most of the office chatter is hubris ) so when a </span><span style="font-size: large;">hot topic</span><span style="font-size: large;"><i> </i>of the day comes up, I'm clueless. I usually don't mind when the up-and-coming are spouting off. That is until yesterday.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-size: large;">20-something, super rep has a habit commenting about me as if I'm not there. I typically ignore her because the ageist I am, could care less what she finds amusing, irritating or inconvenient (“What's that smell?” My lunch and you know it). Yesterday, something snapped and I felt my prickly scales spike and tingle. I wanted to reach out and swipe my paw across the aspiring Employee of the Month's cheek, drawing blood with the strike.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Yeah, I'm too old to for this kind of reaction. Whatever! that's what I felt, and it's Confession Tuesday so judge me if you want to. Maybe it was the frigid cold that made me so frothy. Maybe, it was reality of spending the new year, another year in a gray cubicle that was the true source of my agitation. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: large;">At the moment, I'm home in front of my lovely, mammoth screen, clicking away. I'm the odd chick out, who finds the sound of keystrokes soothing. </span><br />
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Tuesday is regularly Confession Tuesday and Trifecta's<span style="color: #660000;"><b><a href="http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2013/09/trifecta-week-ninety-six.html"> </a><a href="http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2014/01/trifecta-week-109.html" target="_blank">Whatever </a></b></span>prompt inspired this blog.<br />
<br />LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-76824401955623785212014-01-06T19:30:00.000-05:002014-01-06T19:47:47.763-05:00Farmington<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">In a small city, three miles wide</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">we walk downtown paved</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">with cobblestones from the courthouse</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">to the corner of the ethnic grocer</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">at the edge of this cauldron</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">a small island bubbles over rich</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">a three mile radius where runaway slaves</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">found passage and we found home.</span><br />
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Find prompt and image credit at <span style="color: #660000;"><a href="http://magpietales.blogspot.com/2014/01/mag-201.html" target="_blank">The Mag</a>. </span>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-35665902429749038512014-01-06T05:59:00.000-05:002014-01-11T09:31:43.436-05:00Ritual: meaningful lifeposts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8nKse8YQY8YpueMewIkSZydUGpCfSX9llK7R4wFwEfi9maDopZuUyspLEfPBQS5AqmJRIf4QWjRQ78kvuQM5eoR0qOa8TMM4gHPCS032q-iGzOD8j0-Yur4kIKBOPwghiTS9gouCJ6DI/s1600/MMW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8nKse8YQY8YpueMewIkSZydUGpCfSX9llK7R4wFwEfi9maDopZuUyspLEfPBQS5AqmJRIf4QWjRQ78kvuQM5eoR0qOa8TMM4gHPCS032q-iGzOD8j0-Yur4kIKBOPwghiTS9gouCJ6DI/s640/MMW.jpg" height="278" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">In these early days of 2014, I look forward to looking back and looking inward. I look forward to contemplating my goals for this year. Yes, I value resolutions and no, I don't feel I am behind because I haven't completed a list. There are so many things I want to carry into 2014: ritual, meditation, acceptance and permission to be.</span><br />
</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;">In 2013, I embarked on a new journey, this path they call Minimalism. I have zero interest in the debate about what this way of life means in the larger sense. For me, it began as a personal exploration: giving myself permission to slow down, to reflect, to re-evaluate what I value, to consider how I spend my time and with whom.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-size: large;">This morning before most people turn over, I resumed my yoga practice, got dressed and then sat down to write. Some things are worth carrying from one year to the next like ritual. It grounds me, reminds me to actively engage in practices that enrich my life. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-size: large;">This is minimalism my way.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Be well,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">L</span></span><br />
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<a href="http://yeahwrite.me/moonshine/"><img src="http://yeahwrite.me/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/moonshine.png" /></a>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-65047988595551061062014-01-05T16:45:00.002-05:002014-01-05T17:44:58.397-05:00carpe diem<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Sweetest journey's end</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">whispers warm on parted lips</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">now is enough love</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Kristjaan asked us to distill a haiku from a well-known longer work. I took my inspiration from the example he shared, Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. Join us at <a href="http://chevrefeuillescarpediem.blogspot.com/2014/01/carpe-diem-distillation-6-carpe-diem-by.html" target="_blank">carpe diem.</a></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">O Mistress mine, where are you roaming?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">O stay and hear! your true-love’s coming</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">That can sing both high and low;</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Trip no further, pretty sweeting,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Journeys end in lovers’ meeting—</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Every wise man’s son doth know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">What is love? ’tis not hereafter;</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Present mirth hath present laughter;</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What’s to come is still unsure:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">In delay there lies no plenty,—</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Then come kiss me, Sweet-and-twenty,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Youth’s a stuff will not endure.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-51719365284293982532014-01-04T11:59:00.000-05:002014-01-05T12:16:46.798-05:00Resolution: Happy 2014<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Morning friends, I hope 2014 is full of love, friends and poetry in this new year. I can think of no way better to start off Blogs Over Easy 2014 than to begin with poetry. 2013 was a year I reconnected with poets. If you think resolutions are a waste of time, lack creativity and inspiration, I argue you read the following entries. I think there is something here to make you reconsider the value of reflection, goal-setting and honoring your renewal.</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: large;">At Imaginary Toads, Head Toad, Kerry challenged members to reflect on their resolutions, the year past and their desires for the new year. There is plenty of good reading here but for brevity only, I've chosen three entries:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://fireblossom-wordgarden.blogspot.com/2014/01/resolve.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>Resolve</b></span> </a>by Fireblossom at Shay's Word Garden. Always honest, candid, often downright brutal, Shay has mastered the balance between art and our real world. There is no false shock gimmicks or worse over-sentimentality. Instead her work is open, raw and beautifully dark.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://grapeling.wordpress.com/2014/01/01/solution/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #990000;">Solution</span></b> </a>by Grapleing. To write about relationships well, you first must be authentic, then skilled and not the least, compelling without screaming. Melodrama has been bled to death. Seriously, writing about our most intimate relationships is as difficult as writing erotica or love poetry. I'm a reader, people, trust me it's little wonder my eyes haven't been burned out by all the bad erotic and love crap I've suffered over the years. Back to the topic at hand, Grapeling is stellar. There are nuances in his work that make you sigh and nod, and good poetry does that- it in fact, affects you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://kerryoconnorpoems.blogspot.com/2013/12/unresolved.html" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #990000;">Unresolved</span></b> </a>by Kerry at Skylover. If craft matters to you, if you're a true poetry reader, this poet is a must-read. When I read Kerry, I want to read more, work harder, write better. I've been away from reading my favorites online but at rare moments, I read passages from published works, and I remember a key element of good poetry (and Kerry nails it): it speaks to you without shouting. Good poetry is subtle, mind-tingling. It takes hold of you before you realize you are enthralled, and when you become of aware of its pull, you relax, exhale. Sometimes you cry or laugh. In these moments you feel and feeling is no small feat when we live in a world in which we've taught ourselves to be numb so we can function in the chaos of our lives. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.waystationone.com/2014/01/theres-nowhere-left-to-go.html" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #990000;">There's nowhere left to go</span></b> </a>by Brian at Waystationone isn't part of the challenge but this work is linked by theme. Storyteller turned poet. Brian told me he wrote stories before poetry. His ability to weave a tale with keen insight, to spin magic out of our ordinary days is impressive. We are fortunate he chose to delve into poetry. I'm a regular reader among a huge fan base. In less than a year, I have had the pleasure of witnessing the storyteller-turned-poet explore style and craft. Every good writer seeks ways to stretch his ability to share a story. With Brian's work, there is not only a good story but the exploration of a writer. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">What did you read this week? Drop a link with a brief description.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Happy 2014.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Be well,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">L</span>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-14782901042130430792014-01-02T19:53:00.001-05:002014-01-05T11:13:07.614-05:00Resolution of a sort<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">New Year's day I was working. Couldn't contemplate a clever post about resolutions nor rattle off even a staple feature like Confession Tuesday. And that's okay. It's Thursday and at any moment we choose, we can reflect, regroup and move forward so on this night off, I'm writing and happy about it.</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: large;">This time last year, started with so much promise: I had dug in my heels on ground I'd abandoned and seeded me a new space to grow and create. I'm Aquarius and we're notorious for stirring up some shyte so while it was a slow start here, the plotting along moved me to new spaces and folks who reminded me why I can't ever completely leave my writing life behind.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Just when Black and Gray was becoming more than I had hoped, Chaos showed up. Some nasty bugger infected my pc and the virus was only the first setback to affect my writing life. Later, I had a health scare that led to time off work. Shortly after graduating from high school, darling daughter told me I was going to be a grandmother. By early fall, I was working a 4 day, 10 hour shift at my day gig and after returning to my my part-time gig, our 'Fat Cat,' Patches passed away. </span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Despite the drama, 2013 was also the beginning of possibilities I'm excited to welcome in 2014. Grandbaby is due my birthday month, and in step with the kind of granny I plan to be, I'm celebrating by throwing myself a Granny shower. There will be no silly games and bland food. My gig will be held at a book store, naturally, complete with good finger food, drink and poetry. The theme is books and bums (diapers). Friends and I will entertain guests with words and good company. We'll enjoy good food and music.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">In January, I will fulfill a long-time desire to box. Yep, granny is putting on gloves. I'm going to find out just how much punch I really got. In March, I'm participating in Fight for Air (70 flight stair climb for American Lung Association) and in April, I'm joining some fellow mid-lifers in a 5k run.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">People, I've got plans the least of which is to resume my writing life. 2013 was the year I connected with some amazing people, and I can't tell you how much your words and support have enriched my life. Know that I am grateful for you coming into my world. 2014 is about sharing my voice, because next to spending time with those I love, my words will be my final gift to them. In 2014, I want nuture our connections and grow with you, because you know what matters most: our relationships and the power we have to enrich each other through our work and communion.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">So it's not Tuesday and it's not exactly a confession; it is though a kind of promise, a resolution that's worth recommitting to each year. This year, I wish you all a year of love, words and wholeness.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Be well,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">L</span><br />
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<a href="http://yeahwrite.me/moonshine/"><img src="http://yeahwrite.me/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/moonshine.png" /></a>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-91260077222901099102014-01-02T18:19:00.002-05:002014-01-02T19:54:44.886-05:00i wish you...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">be </span><br />
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My first post of 2104. It's been a long road back.<br />
Join us at <a href="http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2013/12/trifextra-week-ninety-nine.html">Trifecta.</a></div>
LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-71154925102055632032013-10-22T00:00:00.000-04:002014-01-06T18:45:18.565-05:00Letter to the gray girl dreaming<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmNLs-r_3Gj5y0dgKvL5c_081moW9ddgDBld8r6GnL3yafG6amzp8qCgBt5CLfrQIcSqs84yyk4qkcuyQYIJKZ0mQfklECMPz7cvkOVRKU2wudxFTGeEP_wkzOo_aHJz6OXGJ6hHp53a4/s1600/confessiontues.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmNLs-r_3Gj5y0dgKvL5c_081moW9ddgDBld8r6GnL3yafG6amzp8qCgBt5CLfrQIcSqs84yyk4qkcuyQYIJKZ0mQfklECMPz7cvkOVRKU2wudxFTGeEP_wkzOo_aHJz6OXGJ6hHp53a4/s640/confessiontues.jpg" height="278" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-size: large;">It's Tuesday, good people. Confession Time. Taking the diary route this week. Letter to me, the older, wiser me I was expecting I would be at this juncture.</span><br />
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<i style="font-size: x-large;">Dear LaTonya,</i><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Gurl, what are you doing? This is not the vision I had for you. With gray around your edges and dreams of early retirement on the horizon, you're suppose to be looking at Airstream models not cribs. You and Mr. are suppose to be lightening the load so you can be old and cool, sitting in the shade on a patch of land, living in a double-wide or shotgun, you didn't have a preference. The game plan was to write most days, talk with your sweetie and put in a few hours a week at the local general store so you could buy a few things, mostly books and whatever other small luxuries a retiree fancies.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Instead you're putting in 60 hour weeks, extended your plans for working in a gray, ugly cubical for at least six more years and brushing up on your cooking not because you have a desire to cook, but so you can save a few more pennies that you're going to need to help your child raise a child.</i></span><br />
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</i></span> <i style="font-size: x-large;">LaTonya, I wanted more for you. Gurl, I won't tell you you've disappointed me. Just want to say I love you. You can do this. The Airstream is on delay not out of reach. You will abandon the cubical, and you and Mr. will live in the Louisiana sun and make each other laugh and hold hands again and feel the butterflies again. You'll get by, gurl. You always have. You'll be fine.</i><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Love,</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>L</i></span><br />
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LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-18289941775271438992013-10-21T19:54:00.001-04:002013-10-21T19:54:46.882-04:00haiku<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc6N4PpNVseSBvxr4hp3k6CPsVZ3HK75DE8R_taedqciaT2kf-s7nkgfMxTb7T0ueh2m9i9txuqt5TXZO_faVZ4cGQrp3BHqXPGyj7e0N4prAM_jXUkTx0erPIC5203Td-j4o-NgI1Puo/s1600/haiku.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc6N4PpNVseSBvxr4hp3k6CPsVZ3HK75DE8R_taedqciaT2kf-s7nkgfMxTb7T0ueh2m9i9txuqt5TXZO_faVZ4cGQrp3BHqXPGyj7e0N4prAM_jXUkTx0erPIC5203Td-j4o-NgI1Puo/s640/haiku.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Three wheel wonder ride</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">roundabout thrill crunches leaves </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">big brown eyes smile bright</span>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-14744315574638022592013-10-21T18:32:00.001-04:002013-10-21T19:58:13.950-04:00Birth, Death and Vacuuming: Life Goes On<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's been more than a week since we lost our kitty. Last week, we learned my daughter is having a girl. This week marks the third week since I returned to retail. Between both jobs, I'm working roughly 60 hours a week, working somewhere seven days a week.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm a 12-stepper, and if ever I've felt the urge to draw on the Serenity Prayer, it's now. I need the courage to change the things I can, acceptance for the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. Over the years, the simplicity, the cliche-ness of those lines that at times I recited on cue, take on renewed meaning.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Today, I had a day off. I spent a good portion of the morning purging, cleaning, organizing. Yep, I spent the morning trying to clean my life into some kind of order because all around me all I see is my world turned upside down. My weight is up, my peace has left the building, and my primary relationships are shifting, not fitting, feeling foreign to me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And what does this kind of blog entry, after days of missing in action, sound like to you? Sounds like a woman teetering on the cliff to me, and I'm not sure she's going to fly and soar when she leaps.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Stay tuned.</span>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-10121203228183278892013-10-11T05:42:00.003-04:002013-10-11T05:42:48.897-04:00Patches: 2000-2013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">No air caressed my fingers held close as I watched, desperate for one more rise and fall of her chest. There was no final whisper, no sign at all. It seemed as if it happened at once yet I imagine over time there must have been a million breaths. A million breaths gone unnoticed until there were none at all.</span><br />
<a name='more'></a>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-65928230577040179152013-10-07T05:10:00.002-04:002014-01-06T05:58:25.270-05:00Not a good day to piss me off<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8nKse8YQY8YpueMewIkSZydUGpCfSX9llK7R4wFwEfi9maDopZuUyspLEfPBQS5AqmJRIf4QWjRQ78kvuQM5eoR0qOa8TMM4gHPCS032q-iGzOD8j0-Yur4kIKBOPwghiTS9gouCJ6DI/s1600/MMW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8nKse8YQY8YpueMewIkSZydUGpCfSX9llK7R4wFwEfi9maDopZuUyspLEfPBQS5AqmJRIf4QWjRQ78kvuQM5eoR0qOa8TMM4gHPCS032q-iGzOD8j0-Yur4kIKBOPwghiTS9gouCJ6DI/s640/MMW.jpg" height="278" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-size: large;">No sameness, no simplicity, no sanity. Today, I am a middle age woman on the verge of smacking a fool for saying something stupid to me, and have I mentioned I talk for a living? Today I'm weepy, victim of hormonal imbalance. There's this heffa named Perimenpause invading my body and I want to slap her.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This weekend the store was open and getting back to something familiar felt good, but familiar doesn't mean same. I'm not sure what sameness feels like. I know after working like a mule, I felt spent. I feel like I'm the one pregnant. My weight is climbing. And if DH says one more time that it's simply a matter of reducing my calories, I'm going to punch him in the face. I woke up sweaty despite our window was open and the fan was on.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">I start my new shift this morning. I'll begin my morning commute before most of you turn over. Up at 4:30, DH asked why I'm up so early. I snapped and said because I start my new shift today, something he's known but somehow suddenly forgot. I got on the scale, and I'm up a quarter pound. We start our weight loss challenge today. I couldn't find anything to wear. When you pare down your wardrobe and your weight is up ten plus pounds, not being able to fit anything isn't the same as not having something to wear becase nothing looks good to you.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">I was whipped after work, but I cooked dinner for DS and we talked some. She talked. I fussed and sighed. I need prozac and I want it in a patch.</span>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-39800488139358710932013-10-06T08:54:00.002-04:002013-10-06T08:54:59.911-04:00keeping time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">contemplation a sepia field curling the edges of dreams spent</span><br />
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I love the American sentence. I think it works with the prompt. linked with The Mag <a href="http://magpietales.blogspot.com/2013/10/mag-189.html" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #783f04;">#189</span></b></a>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-83133194964567307292013-10-06T08:33:00.001-04:002013-10-06T09:20:56.287-04:00sunday morning musing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Measured breaths</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">internal rhythm a path</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">airborne kites to truth</span><br />
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linked with Poetry Pantry <a href="http://poetryblogroll.blogspot.com/2013/10/poetry-pantry-170.html" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #783f04;"> #170</span></b></a>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-6158388693634939662013-10-05T10:11:00.000-04:002013-10-06T09:02:07.672-04:00Reading is Fundamental<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Good morning, good people. Welcome to another edition of Blogs Over Easy, my review of blogs I read this week. Okay, my blogging hopping is more like a crawl during the week so work with me here. If you know me, when I read, I comment. If I'm not commenting that means you're not being ignored, it means a sista is working hard offline. Summer was way cool, but now that it's fall, it's mostly work, sleep when I can get it, and be glad for both.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">You know the drill, I'll be hopping like mad woman between weekend shifts at my part-time gig. In the meantime, I have a couple of good reads to share including a spooky budding romance story. I hope you're like me and committed to sharing some blog love. Check out your peers. Read and COMMENT, people.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://iasoupmama.com/2013/10/fiction-the-other-side-of-the-story/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #660000;">“The Other Side of the Story”</span></b> </a>at Soup. New blogger to me. Solid writing. Enjoyed her take on a classic Halloween tale. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://afineprintblog.wordpress.com/2013/10/02/this-is-why-i-like-you-2/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #660000;">“This is why I like you”</span></b></a> at Fine Print. Keen, biting but not cruel. Unapologetic and sensitive without being overt. Here is an honest view of relationships and how we survive them and ourselves.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://pinionpost.com/2013/09/30/akhun/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #660000;">“Akun”</span></b></a> at Pinionpost. Some of you know I'm drawn to social-political commentary. Great snapshot of reality here. The right detail, perfect pacing and dialogue. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Okay, good people what rocked your world this weekend? Need some blog lovin'? Drop those links and a brief description.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Happy blog hoppin',</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">L</span>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-38927022640855770122013-10-02T05:49:00.000-04:002013-10-02T17:36:23.397-04:00Hollowed Out<div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"He'd had it coming to him," she mumbled it like a spell, barely audible now. Jenny stood there in a trance-like state, glassy-eyed. She had seed splatter and goo on her clothes and hands. She heard the officer asking her questions. As if she were a child, she spoke softly, ashamed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Witnesses gave their version: Earlier that evening, a pretty young woman was walking through the patch with her boyfriend. They were laughing. She looked like she was having a good time. Then it happened. She knelt down and ran her hand over a large gourd. She pulled out her carving knife and began cutting methodically in a circle. She pulled its top off. As if no one was there, she plunged her hands hard into it, digging feverishly, she scooped out the mealy flesh. What began slow and menancing became a spectacle. In a matter of seconds, she was cursing and screaming, covered in her mayhem. Some say she even cackled, said they heard her say he had it coming to him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Off to the side, horrified and mute, stood the young man. So much for a first date.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.yeahwrite.me/speakeasy/129-open/"><img src="http://www.yeahwrite.me/speakeasy/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/speakeasy2.png" /></a> Join <a href="http://www.yeahwrite.me/speakeasy/129-open/"><b><span style="color: #660000;">us.</span></b></a>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-74572002511163736232013-10-01T05:01:00.000-04:002013-10-01T06:03:06.101-04:00I like foreign films because old people have sex in them<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-4fYEEanQIP5iOkGocIOmtaPCrJhUso7yxkybNIm1peroRe6ouBDkro7vWX-ks_XiIbc6qvO7KoyjNZRCaJqJIQU-7-sBCPhhv-gmo5-0iyII7oIOvQk-QF9m-J_xg44pd8TuxJcpXrs/s1600/confessiontues.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-4fYEEanQIP5iOkGocIOmtaPCrJhUso7yxkybNIm1peroRe6ouBDkro7vWX-ks_XiIbc6qvO7KoyjNZRCaJqJIQU-7-sBCPhhv-gmo5-0iyII7oIOvQk-QF9m-J_xg44pd8TuxJcpXrs/s640/confessiontues.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Hey, good people. Don't hate. Meta tags serve a purpose hence the title. Today is confession Tuesday. Let's get right to it. I do like foreign films because old people, meaning people over forty have sex in them. The women's bodies aren't the airbrushed variety of perky tits and tiny asses and their real bodies aren't shoved in your faces to titillate instead the sex is part of the story. Let's talk story. In foreign films (and I</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: large;"> love watching the ones with subtitles), you get complex story-lines that aren't neat nor served up with a bow at the end. Endings without formulalic resolution, isn't limited to quirky, indie films. In foreign films, directors can take risk without being tethered to box office projections, let a film end a note without explanation, and actors don't have to be fantasy beautiful. They just have to be good at their craft. Acting is required. You, the audience, are required to pay attention. Words matter here, people. </span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">If I sound a bit snobbish, okay. I just like a little substance with my reel. Doesn't have to be all dark and gloom, but I would like a shot of reality even when I'm completely on board with suspending the real world. I want hope I can believe and triumph with a few scars to make it sweeter.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">I'm old. I've got scars, and I think I'm right cute so you see, I just want a little bit of real in my reel.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">What naughty bit do you have to confess? Drop a link or comment. Booth open.</span><br />
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Prompt: <b><span style="color: #274e13;"><a href="http://studio30plus.com/page/prompts">word</a></span></b>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-89485985586698240522013-09-30T21:10:00.003-04:002013-09-30T21:11:15.554-04:00haiku<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD2IAow6MRncYd69ETsLT7tveTCQ9Q0rLHpcQxZU9uhajfL-medTDQmhnKa8F9i1nqtVMeUtJ9ldRe6inHCuZpkdOc57OU2reHo7QXd7DDGmpt_E45vKUrbLF0vofx4MVyDsH-cPcbl2M/s1600/tumbleweed-eric-foltz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD2IAow6MRncYd69ETsLT7tveTCQ9Q0rLHpcQxZU9uhajfL-medTDQmhnKa8F9i1nqtVMeUtJ9ldRe6inHCuZpkdOc57OU2reHo7QXd7DDGmpt_E45vKUrbLF0vofx4MVyDsH-cPcbl2M/s640/tumbleweed-eric-foltz.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">you are tumbleweeds</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">rustling through my limbs and thoughts</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">swoosh past memories</span>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-73385740515278240252013-09-30T11:49:00.000-04:002013-09-30T17:45:09.773-04:00As if I don't have enough to do: Read Shaded Glasses<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Because I'm going to be a granny who hopes to pass on the love of reading to her grandbaby, and some things from the past should be saved, I've started another blog. Welcome to <a href="http://midliferreadsmulticulturallit.blogspot.com/"><span style="color: #783f04;">Read Shaded Glasses</span></a>. I'm a midlifer who loves multicultural literature for children and teens. Initially what you'll see here is the motivation behind this blog, Blasts From The Past.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you're a parent or grandparent or any adult who cares that our children read, visit me at RSG.</span>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-89793532151679739112013-09-30T06:50:00.001-04:002013-10-05T09:19:06.180-04:00A fatty's guide to minimalism<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgODr08elaHuOnWXPnQxiEJn8qZ1x6QVU6lI7r6uecuwFb-M-TIz_V8hvhsrduSKspn8VUZHX_J_Gru_ocRgIASkFJ-Eq7oDRO90SqP5D81Ig_2FosIR_zmALMM7cgKKOgSb67uXWeSw4/s1600/MMW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgODr08elaHuOnWXPnQxiEJn8qZ1x6QVU6lI7r6uecuwFb-M-TIz_V8hvhsrduSKspn8VUZHX_J_Gru_ocRgIASkFJ-Eq7oDRO90SqP5D81Ig_2FosIR_zmALMM7cgKKOgSb67uXWeSw4/s640/MMW.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="font-size: large;">So what does the minimalist do when she's too fat to wear her clothes? This fatty embraces the opportunity to pare down. If fatty offends you, please note this is a self-description that works for me. I'm focused on my issues, people. Back to the topic around the middle. This summer I put on significant weight, and I have a few ideas why (yes, that extra chocolate didn't help matters): perimenopause and new medication, not excuses but certainly factors I can't change, which means I must change my dietary and exercise habits if I want to lose this beer gut (and I don't even drink).</span><br />
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<a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: large;">Yes, I talk in circles and yes, I'm getting to a point here. It's fall and I have lovely clothes for my favorite season, and I need to wear lovely clothes especially for my part-time gig, but there's no way, round belly me is going to fit the majority of what I own. What's a gal to do? Hit the resale shop for a few pieces to get me through and kick start my ingenious knack for making multiple ensembles out of minimal items. Who says minimalists aren't chic and beautiful? </span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Look, I've done frumpy. Not a good look and extra weight be damned, I need to look good because looking good, feels good. I don't have body image issues. I have a weight issue. And I will not suffer my mother ever telling me again, “Tonya, there's no reason for you to be frumpy.” Have I mentioned my mother is gorgeous? Always has been. She's also too thin, but hey, we each fight our own battles. And mommy is looking good and putting some weight back on. </span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Me, I'm pulling out my fall/winter wardrobe. Hanging up my sexy, go-on-with-your-badass plaid mini skirt, I bought in the spring for motivation, and I'm going to do some lovely matching with what actually fits in the meantime.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">In case you think I'm simply being vain, let me say there is nothing remotely healthy about being overweight. My kinfolk push up daisies fairly early so this fatty is on a mission for my health as well as my diva self. My middle years have been good despite the challenges. </span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Be well.</span><br />
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<a href="http://yeahwrite.me/moonshine/"><img src="http://yeahwrite.me/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/moonshine.png" /></a>Join <a href="http://www.blogger.com/%3Ca%20href=%22http://yeahwrite.me/moonshine/%22%3E%3Cimg%20src=%22http://yeahwrite.me/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/moonshine.png%22%3E%3C/a%3E">us</a>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817118162155416984.post-20390331610603059862013-09-29T12:35:00.001-04:002013-09-29T12:35:27.371-04:00Honey Sweet<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Stories have to be told or they die, and when they die, we can't remember who we are or why we're here.</i><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We sat in a honeyed truck</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">one sweet sticky summer</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">when more than bees hummmed</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">in the old south 1960s</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">an old story, new for a girl just fourteen;</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">a story older than hate-</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">love, love came first.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I had confused stories in my head</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">all but one- a story about a summer,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">bees and a kiss.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I hummed that summer-</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">sweet tea, bees, me a girl named Lily</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">loved by Seasons and a sweet boy</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">who gave me my first kiss</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">in the old south 1960s,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">a story older than hate.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Honey sheen, and gold beams shone </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">that summer a sweet boy</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">gave me my first kiss.</span><br />
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linked with Susie's Secret Life of Bees<b><span style="color: #274e13;"> <a href="http://withrealtoads.blogspot.com/2013/09/sunday-mini-challenge-secret-life-of.html">prompt</a>.</span></b>LaTonya Baldwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.com18